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  My next shots went even wider than my first had, but that was because all my focus had drifted behind me, to the hard, warm planes of Noah’s body pressed against my back. I wanted to sink into his embrace and forget about everything else, but he’d brought me here for a reason. So I focused and took a half step out of his embrace, planting my feet like he’d shown me and bracing my arms.

  I set my gaze on the target and squeezed the trigger.

  A little hole appeared in the dark paper with the silhouette printed on it, and I yelped with glee. “Yes!”

  “Good job. Try again. Aim just a little higher and to the left.”

  Noah’s breath tickled the back of my neck as he spoke, and I had to drag my focus forward again as goose bumps prickled over my skin.

  I stared hard at the silhouette on the target, painting a face on it in my mind’s eye. Short, ash-brown hair. Blue eyes with slightly puffy lids. Thin lips and a smile I had trusted for far too long.

  My finger squeezed the trigger three times, and three bright holes opened up in the target’s head.

  “Hell yeah, Scrubs!” The pride in Noah’s voice was impossible to miss, even muffled by the ear covers. “That was great! What’d you do different that time?”

  A savage smile curved my lips, and I glanced back at him before adjusting my grip on the gun. “I gave myself a little extra motivation.”

  We practiced for close to an hour, until my arms began to ache from bracing against the recoil, and my shots, which had been steadily improving, began to go wide again. Probably wanting to leave things on a high note, Noah called it quits as soon as he noticed my aim flagging. He took a few shots himself, his dead-on accuracy making me certain he’d spent hours in some shooting range or another, doing what he could to make sure no one would ever imprison him against his will again.

  The glasses and ear protectors were a little silly looking, but I hardly even noticed them as I watched Noah shoot. One side of his full lips curled slightly in concentration, revealing just a hint of white teeth as his muscled arms held the gun steady, straining against the fabric of his dark t-shirt.

  He was softer in some ways than my other mates, but that didn’t make him any less deadly.

  The large space seemed almost eerily quiet as we stored the weapons and equipment. There’d been no one back here shooting but us, and I’d grown used to the loud pop pop pop of the guns.

  When Noah led me into a smaller side room with mats on the floor and a few more beat-up heavy bags in the corner, my heart sank. Damn it. I’d forgotten he wanted to teach me hand-to-hand too. My arm muscles felt like vibrating jelly after all that target practice. It was going to make throwing a punch a hell of a lot harder.

  I glanced over at him and found his gray-blue eyes watching me, a satisfied smile on his face. My own eyes narrowed.

  “It’s not a coincidence we’re doing this part second, is it?”

  “Smart woman.” He winked at me then cast his gaze around the room, pointing to a door on the opposite wall. “There. Molly donated some workout clothes. You can get changed and meet me out here.”

  My brow furrowed. “You’re making it sound like I’m gonna work up a sweat.”

  “Not if you beat me, you won’t.”

  I groaned and snatched the small gym bag out of his hands. There was almost no chance of that happening.

  The locker room was small but clean, with a few shower stalls and sinks with mirrors above them. I wasn’t honestly sure if it was men’s or women’s or unisex, but since I was the only one in the room, it didn’t really matter. In fact, I hadn’t seen anybody else in this place except the guys up front.

  I changed quickly, stuffing my clothes and the empty bag into a cubby before heading back out to the small training room.

  Noah met me in the middle of the space, his eyes lighting up at the sight of me. One might almost think he wasn’t about to kick my ass.

  “How do you know all this stuff?” I asked curiously as he positioned my hands in front of my face and moved my feet into a staggered stance.

  “I studied mixed martial arts for a while in Vegas.” His gaze met mine as he curled my hands into loose fists. “It’s stupid, but it made me feel safer.”

  “It’s not stupid.”

  He shrugged that off, stepping back to assess my posture. “I got snagged by two guys walking back to my grandparents’ house after school when I was a kid. Sold to Strand. By the time my pack mates and I broke out, I was bigger and stronger than I’d been when I was nine, but I still felt nervous in open, exposed places. Learning how to fight and shoot helped with the panic. Plus, it’s practical stuff to know.”

  My chest ached. He’d spoken as casually as someone might when discussing what they’d had for dinner last night. But he wasn’t talking about dinner. He was talking about the end of his life as a normal boy, a normal human, and the beginning of the nightmare Strand had put him through.

  I had a sudden urge to march back into the other room, grab a gun, and fire off several more rounds into the imaginary Doctor Shepherd’s head.

  Noah noticed the stiffness in my body, the line that had formed between my eyebrows, and shook his head.

  “Don’t worry about it, Scrubs. It’s over. It’s in the past. Hell, if those guys hadn’t picked me up, I never would’ve met you, so”—he grimaced—“in some extremely fucked up way, I’m almost grateful they did. I can never be truly okay with what happened to me, but it’s brought me here. Where I have you and my mates, and Sariah, Molly, Carl, and the pack. I’m okay.”

  He reached out to adjust the position of my fists again, but I grabbed his hand, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. His warm gray-blue eyes softened, and my heart swelled inside my chest until there didn’t seem to be room for anything else.

  Cupping the back of my head, he kissed me softly before whispering against my lips, “You’re supposed to be beating me up.”

  I grinned, feeling his lips mirror mine. “Okay. Show me how.”

  Chapter Nine

  Sweat dripped down the side of my face, tickling my skin, but I ignored it, keeping my gaze locked on Noah. He circled around me slowly, his feet not making a sound on the mat-covered floor.

  My wolf was just below the surface, but I didn’t let her out. Her keen senses helped though, picking up every little movement. The moment Noah lunged for me, I was ready. I ducked under his arm, darting forward to hurl myself at his midsection. Grabbing him in a bear hug, I hooked one of his legs with mine like he’d shown me, twisting to bring us both down.

  We grappled across the mat, each trying to get the upper hand. He was bigger than me by a lot, but he’d taught me some effective ways to use my diminutive size to my advantage. I landed a knee in his side, dislodging his weight, and then scrambled up. As he moved after me, I threw a kick, pulling it at the last second so it just missed his head.

  He jerked back, a surprised grunt leaving his mouth before he grinned broadly.

  “Yes, Scrubs! Just like that!”

  I huffed a laugh, bending over to catch my breath while he got to his feet. “It was sloppy. It’s still mostly adrenaline doing the fighting.”

  “Hey, nothing wrong with adrenaline. But you’re not letting it blind you anymore—you’re staying focused and letting the adrenaline serve you, not the other way around.” He lifted his shirt to wipe his face, revealing the cut six-pack underneath. At least he was a little bit sweaty from our exertions.

  “Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

  “Nothing wrong with sloppy either,” he added. “Remember, you’re not fighting for points. This isn’t a boxing match, and style doesn’t mean shit. Only one thing matters. You hurt them before they hurt you. By any means necessary.”

  His tone grew serious as he spoke, a pained look passing over his features. I recognized the emotion in his eyes. It was the same thing I’d felt when I’d watched Rhys and West run into a burning building a few weeks ago. The same thing I felt every time any of my mates put
themselves in danger. A heartbreaking helplessness.

  “So, what you’re telling me is you like it sloppy?” I teased, trying to lighten the mood as I tucked a few strands of wild hair behind my ears.

  “With you, Scrubs? I like it any way.” Heat and humor flashed in his eyes before he stepped back, blowing out a breath. “We should get back to the house. We need to finalize our plans for tonight, and the guys’ll kill me if I keep you out all day.”

  “Okay.”

  I knew he’d deliberately taken it easy on me so I wouldn’t be wiped out during the break-in. As much as I hated her, I had to give Erin—my trainer at the Strand complex—credit for keeping me in good shape.

  We stretched and cooled down for a few minutes in silence, then I headed to the locker room to change. It had to be late afternoon by now, and our plan was to hit Strand around midnight. The time in between seemed to hang over me like a guillotine, too long and too short all at once.

  I peeled off the tight black pants and loose fitting tank top, and was about to pull the sports bra over my head when movement in my periphery caught my attention. My heart jumped into my throat, and I whirled, my wolf at the ready.

  Noah stood in the doorway, his eyes locked on me.

  The look I’d kept seeing on his face all day was back—the one that spoke of desperate love and helpless fear. Of having everything he could ever want right in front of him and knowing the harsh world might steal it away at any moment.

  He didn’t speak. He just let the door close and crossed the room in four determined strides, pulling me to him, crushing me against his chest as his arms wrapped around me.

  “Goddamn it, Scrubs. I’m so fucking scared.”

  His voice was hoarse, and he squeezed me tighter with every word. I hugged him back, listening to the sound of his heart pounding in my ear and his ragged, uneven breaths.

  When he finally released his grip, he cradled my face in his hands and dipped his head to kiss me. I clung to his arms, kissing him back as though I could imprint the feel of him, the taste of him, in my memory. Our tongues stroked against each other in movements that were both sweet and needy, tender and desperate.

  He backed up, sitting on the bench in the middle of the small room and lifting me onto his lap. With my arms still wrapped around him, I straddled him, knees on either side of his lean waist, already feeling his stiffening cock press against the dampness of my panties through his shorts.

  We weren’t alone in this building. As far as I knew, the men who’d spoken to Noah were still in the main room up front. They could come back here anytime—but at the moment, I didn’t care.

  I tugged his shirt off, tossing it on the floor and attacking his chest and neck with kisses. His skin was warm and salty from sweat, the back of his hair slightly damp.

  He groaned, sliding a hand underneath my sports bra to palm my breast, massaging the sensitive flesh until my nipple stiffened. “Please, Scrubs. Stay with us. No matter what happens. We can’t lose you.”

  “I will, Noah,” I gasped out, moving against him as need built inside me, trying to smother the fear that hovered between us. “I promise.”

  It was a lie, a vow I couldn’t guarantee I would keep, but he needed to hear the words as much as I needed to say them.

  He gripped my hair close to the scalp with one large hand, holding my head still while his eyes searched mine. Finally, his grip on the strands loosened. His fingertips trailed down my neck and torso to ghost over my ribs, but our gazes remained locked together.

  When his hand moved lower, slipping inside my panties, I sucked in a sharp breath. The broad pads of his fingers slid over my clit, pulling a rough noise from my lips, before he slid one thick digit inside me. My inner walls clenched around him, my hips swiveling and grinding against his hand, seeking more friction. But I couldn’t look anywhere but his eyes. The hazy pools of blue, so full of boundless emotions, had pulled me in, trapping me in their depths.

  He hooked his finger, finding a new spot inside me that sent pleasure cascading through my veins, and his irises darkened like storm clouds as he watched me respond.

  “Noah… I love you… need you…”

  I shook my head, unable to convey everything I felt.

  His hand was incredible, the feel of his body against mine was perfection, but I needed more than that.

  I needed to be filled by him, to feel him rooted inside me.

  He nodded, withdrawing his finger and fumbling with his shorts. He didn’t even get them all the way off, just pushed them down enough to free his cock, shoved my panties aside, and thrust up into me.

  Twin moans mingled in the air as we both felt it.

  Relief. Connection.

  Home.

  We stayed like that for several breaths, frozen in this moment where nothing separated us, where our souls seemed to click into place like two interlocking puzzle pieces.

  “I love you, Alexis,” he breathed, claiming my lips in a kiss as sweet and smooth as melted butter. “Forever.”

  Bracing my hands on his muscled shoulders, I rocked softly against him, keeping myself impaled fully on his length. His hips matched the motion of mine in small thrusts that worked my clit against his pelvic bone. I knew he would need more friction to come, but he didn’t seem in any rush to get there, and I wasn’t in any hurry to let go of this connection. I needed to feel him buried to the hilt inside me for just a little while longer.

  My fingers played with the back of his hair, lips ghosting over his skin as I squeezed hard around him, pulling a choked grunt from his lips. His hands skated down to my ass, drawing me tighter against him, pressing our bodies impossibly closer together. He was so deep inside me it was almost painful, but that pain brought its own kind of pleasure too—a reminder that we were both still here, still alive.

  Sparks zapped through my body, pulsating warmth gathering in my core as my movements grew faster, more desperate.

  “God, yes. Come for me, Scrubs,” Noah grunted, burying his face in the crook of my neck, his entire body stiffening with tension. “Come on my cock. I need to feel you.”

  His rough words, both a command and a plea, lit a fuse inside me. My head fell back, my hips grinding against his as he devoured my neck and breasts with hot, wet kisses. The orgasm barreled into me, and I clamped down around him so tight I swore I could feel every ridge of his cock as I cried out my release.

  “Oh fuck,” he groaned, breathing hard as he surged to his feet, hands still gripping my ass.

  My legs automatically twined around his waist as he staggered forward and pressed me against the wall, his gaze finding mine again as he finally withdrew in a long, slow stroke. My core was still spasming with aftershocks, clutching at him as he pulled almost all the way out. His broad head teased my entrance, leaving me empty—too empty.

  Then he thrust in again, his cock seeming even larger with my walls constricting around him. He drove into me hard and fast, our bodies colliding as he fucked me like it might be the last time he ever had the chance.

  I gave up trying to kiss him and just held on, wrapping my arms around his neck to hold myself steady. My sports bra and panties were still on, and his shorts still hung off his hips, but those barriers didn’t matter. I’d never felt closer to him than I did in that moment, as we both tried to push back the fear that told us this—we—could never last.

  “Forever, Noah,” I whimpered against his heated, sweat-dampened skin. “Always. Always. Always.”

  The word became like a chant as he pistoned his hips, slipping one hand between us to work his thumb over my clit in time with his thrusts. The fire that had turned to smoldering embers burst to life again, and he pressed me hard against the wall as we came together.

  I felt his cock thicken and pulse inside me, his release seeming to go on forever as a low groan rumbled in his chest.

  Gingerly, he peeled me from the wall, keeping a firm grip on my ass as our chests heaved against each other.

  “You oka
y?” He drew away slightly to look down at me. “How’s your back? I didn’t mean to go so hard.”

  A sated grin stretched across my face. “I’m grand. I needed that. Just like that.”

  His smile matched mine as he sank back down onto the bench, clasping both arms around me as I settled onto his lap. He was still inside me, and our combined wetness had pretty much ruined these panties, but I couldn’t bring myself to care one bit.

  “Yeah. I did too. God, I love you, Scrubs.”

  A wave of emotion crashed over me, and I was afraid I’d cry if I said anything, so I just nodded, tracing his jaw with my fingertips.

  Finally, he lifted me off his lap, setting me on wobbly feet. He adjusted his shorts, tucking away his softening cock before he grabbed a few paper towels and knelt before me to help me clean up.

  I kicked my underwear off, running my fingers through his hair as I bit my bottom lip to hide my satisfied smile. “I think I’ll just… retire this pair.”

  “Good call.”

  Amused gray-blue eyes flashed up to me before he threw the paper towels and my panties into a trash can in the corner.

  His hands settled on my hips, and he pressed a soft kiss to my lower belly, just above my pubic bone. Butterflies took off in my stomach at the tenderness of the gesture… and the added meaning behind it he didn’t even know.

  Could he feel it?

  The slight rounding of my belly, the softening of my lithe frame? The little life growing inside me?

  I needed to tell them. Sariah was right. I needed to tell them all.

  My fingers curled in his hair, but before I could say anything, he pressed one final kiss to my belly. Then he was on his feet again, walking toward the cubby where I’d stashed my clothes. He grabbed them out and handed them to me before throwing the borrowed gym clothes from Molly inside the bag.