Defiance Read online

  A grimace of distaste wrinkles my face. Have I become so soft in my time with them? Did death change me that much?

  None of the men seem to notice my expression. They don’t appear to notice my question either, the three of them folding into a tight huddle to discuss the merits of going home first or simply going straight to the palace to get this over with—whatever this happens to be. They’ve still yet to tell me that part.

  While I’m waiting for their fervent, hushed conversation to end, I look around at the few vendors who have set up in this area and catch sight of a familiar face. Violet stands behind a wheeled, wooden cart covered in herbs and flowers. I watch as she passes a small bundle of something with deep green leaves and orange petals to a purchaser, then accepts the man’s payment with a nod and a smile.

  “Isn’t that your friend?” Callum asks, stepping up so close behind me that I can feel the heat of his body at my back.

  “Hmm?” I tense, startled by his sudden proximity. “Yes, I suppose so.”

  “Good. Go see her and stay with her while we continue to the palace.”

  There’s an odd look on his face when I crane my neck to peer at him over my shoulder. He’s never been the most expressive man, but now it’s as if an artist has carved him out of marble. His expression is set in stone, and something about it makes my blood run a little cold. So instead of putting up my usual argument that I’d be perfectly fine on my own without someone to watch me, I just nod.

  None of my men look me in the eye before they turn and stride off in the direction of Kaius’s gilded palace.

  With my heart hammering in my chest for reasons I don’t quite understand, I adjust my satchel over the front of my dress in an attempt to cover up some of the dirtier spots left by our journey. Then I walk over to join Violet.

  She sees me coming and bounces on her toes, waving at me with a huge grin. The action is so normal and so friendly that it calms my nerves. I take a couple deep breaths before I reach her, feeling better already.

  “Sage! It’s so good to see you.” Her embrace smells of lavender and rosemary, and there’s a sprig of something evergreen caught in her dark locks.

  I extract the twig and hold it out to her as the embrace ends. “You gather and sell herbs?”

  Violet chuckles and plucks the stem from my fingers with a playful roll of her eyes. “I do. It’s just a hobby, something I do in my spare time to keep me busy. Lucius allows it because it gets me out of his hair from time to time, and he sometimes has use of the herbs I find.”

  “I was adept with herbalism during my life on earth.” I trace my fingertips over a feathery, velvet-soft sage leaf. “My mother said she cursed me with the gift by naming me Sage.”

  “Oh, I like that.” The bright-faced girl grins at me. “Maybe my mother cursed me with a love for plants by naming me Violet.” She tosses the little sprig into a bucket by her feet and then brushes an errant strand of hair from her eyes as she takes in my appearance. Her brows pull together a little, her smile fading. “Have you been traveling? You ran off so quickly when I saw you last. Is everything all right?”

  I see no reason now to keep anything from Violet. Kaius is already aware of what happened, and my men are on the way to see him now, so it’s too late to cover up or hide what we did. Resting my hip against the side of the small cart, I give her a brief description of where we’ve been and why, finishing with the appearance of the shadowy rider and our summons back to Ironholde.

  When I finish, Violet’s hand hovers over her mouth, her eyes wide with shock. Her voice is muffled as she says, “Oh, Sage. It all makes sense now.”

  “What do you mean?” I ask, pushing away from the cart and straightening.

  “Kaius is furious.” Casting a furtive glance toward the palace, she steps closer to me and lowers her voice. “It’s all anybody has been talking about, though many of the details were vague. I didn’t know who he was so angry at, who had roused his ire. But it’s clear now that I’ve heard your story.”

  “What’s clear?” I ask. My voice is a little choked as my heart tries to crawl up into my throat.

  The fear in Violet’s voice has infected me too, and I’m desperate to understand what she’s talking about—though there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to know. If I don’t find out, I can remain blissfully oblivious, the way Callum, Echo, and Paris intended for me to be.

  But that’s not who I am.

  I’ve always been curious to a fault, and whatever gossip Violet picked up around Ironholde in our absence, I need to know if—how—it concerns my men.

  “Violet, tell me what’s going on,” I repeat, taking a step toward her.

  “Everyone knows that some messengers of Kaius interfered on Zelus’s territory; we just weren’t sure who they were,” Violet says, her eyes wide and her tone still unnaturally quiet. “We know Kaius hates Zelus, so one might think he’d be glad to have his messengers help Zelus’s people. To tear a rival god down, so to speak. To make Zelus look incompetent and weak.”

  I’ve never considered that angle, but it does make sense. “Is that not how he feels? It is logical.”

  “Kaius is anything but logical,” Violet whispers, as if she’s afraid for someone to hear her malign the god. “In his mind, his messengers interfering in Zelus’s realm makes him look weak, as if he can’t control his own servants, since he didn’t sanction their actions.”

  “I don’t understand.” I shake my head, my heart galloping like a wild horse in my chest. “He’s angry because he didn’t give the instruction to charge?”

  Violet nods soberly. “Kaius blames the three messengers for starting this war, and he has let it be known that he intends to punish them to the fullest extent of his wrath.”

  I blink, her final words repeating in my mind like an echo. The fullest extent of his wrath.

  What is the fullest extent of a god’s wrath? What does that even encompass?

  Fear rises within me, the force of it nearly sending me to my knees.

  Callum, Echo, and Paris are in dire trouble.

  6

  My body springs into action before my mind even catches up.

  I whip around and sprint toward the palace without so much as a shouted goodbye to Violet.

  She calls after me in her light, breathy voice, but I ignore her and keep running toward the drawbridge at the end of the lane. My heart is nearly bursting with panic as I dodge pedestrians on the street and duck beneath men carrying large barrels of ale down the cobblestones. I plow into a man hauling a loosely woven bag full of potatoes, but even when they scatter across the stones like sand, I don’t stop to help him clean up.

  The war is all my fault. Zelus’s anger at Kaius is my fault.

  None of this would have happened if I hadn’t begged the messengers to help me save Nolan. I can’t take back how I pleaded for his life, nor can I go back and change past events so that we never travel to earth and save my village. And in truth, even if I could do those things, I wouldn’t want to.

  But I can do something in the present. I can make this right by owning up to my responsibility.

  The drawbridge lays over a vast moat that encircles the palace, iron chains shining in the sunlight. Two guards stand on either side of the bridge, stiff and unmoving with swords at their hips and spears in their hands. I’ve seen them mark every person who passes over the bridge—their duty is to stop anyone who doesn’t belong.

  I wasn’t invited into the palace. I don’t belong here.

  But I don’t let that slow me down.

  The guards see me coming simultaneously, both of them moving to cover the bridge with their spears. I suppose they’ve never actually had to stop anyone before, because their spears are dreadfully short compared to the wide bridge, and I slip between them like a ghost.

  Deep, angry voices call after me, but I keep running, even when I hear the telltale sound of pounding boots following behind me in the interior courtyard. I skirt around a large warhorse b
eing bathed near the stables and leap over a pile of straw waiting to be spread in the stalls. The doors to the palace are up a grand staircase; they’re closed, guarded by two more men with spears.

  And this time, their spears are likely long enough to block my way.

  I’m too quick for my pursuers, and they’re blocked by the crowd of workers milling around the courtyard. So I slow my mad dash slightly, my mind whirring as I sort through my options. Only I don’t exactly have any options.

  So I just walk up the stairs as if I belong there.

  Both men are looking out over the city beyond the castle’s gates, so I square my shoulders and stroll past them, trying to exude a sense of power and royalty. I’m not even sure if Kaius has a live-in royal court, but I do my absolute best to pretend I’m one of them.

  And it works—up to a point. My fingers are pressed to the dark mahogany door when one of the guards finally notices me.

  “Is that… is that a soul?” he says, staring down at me with an astonished look on his face.

  The other guard glances at me and visibly startles. “What in Kaius’s name are you doing, girl?”

  I cringe, sure I’m about to be well and truly caught. But for the briefest of moments, neither of them move, so startled that a lowly soul would dare to enter Kaius’s palace unaccompanied that they’re frozen in place.

  Their shock won’t last long, but I accept it as the gift it is. Adrenaline surges through me as I shove at the door with all my might, hurling myself inside the palace.

  Then I run.

  I don’t stop to ogle the opulence of Kaius’s palace, though I can’t help but notice the abundance of shiny gold and marble flashing by me. Long, narrow windows let in slanting beams of sunlight, and coupled with the whitewashed walls and gilded, gold-framed mirrors and paintings decorating the halls, the entire palace seems lit from within.

  Fit for a god, I suppose.

  I skid around a corner, fairly certain I’m headed in the right direction to reach the throne room. My leather boots slap against the polished floors, a counterpoint to the sound of heavier, sturdier boots thumping behind me. I don’t look back, but I’m sure it’s the guards from outside the door—and probably the gate guards too. I’m likely being chased by an entire herd of Kaius’s men.

  A prickle of magic dances against my skin as one of them calls upon the power of the weave, probably intending to bind me hand and foot.

  So close. Nish. I’m so close.

  Putting on a burst of speed, I finally reach the unnaturally tall and intricately carved wooden doors that open into the throne room. I’m breathless, with shaking knees and a heart that beats faster than a hummingbird’s wings. Luckily, there are no guards posted at these doors, and I throw my entire body weight against one of the thick slabs of wood. It groans in protest but swings open enough to admit me entrance.

  The sight before me makes my blood chill.

  Callum, Echo, and Paris are kneeling on the red and gold carpet before the throne. Kaius towers menacingly over them, his face red with rage and his fists clenched at his sides. His voice is still echoing off the cavernous walls from whatever tongue lashing he’s been giving them, but his gaze lifts to me as I race into the room, and he falls silent.

  I don’t hesitate. Even though my limbs are ready to give out, I rush to the crowd of men at the front of the room and leap between Kaius and the messengers. I know I’m only a single soul against a god, and it’s unlikely I can protect even one of the men behind me with my body, let alone three, but I’m going to try anyway.

  Throwing out my arms, I blurt, “Stop! Please! This is all my fault.”

  Kaius’s face is still red, but the anger has seeped away, replaced by a blank expression. A bang cuts through the room, and the distinct sound of running footsteps and clanking swords tells me my pursuers have arrived to grandly pretend they didn’t farse their duties and let me slip past them.

  But instead of letting the guards take me away, Kaius immediately holds up a hand, stopping them in their tracks. Then he shifts his deep, searing gaze back to me. “Yes? You were saying?”

  I gulp at the ice-cold rage that simmers in his tone, but I shove away my painful desire to run far and fast. “I’m the cause of this. The entire situation is my fault. I manipulated Callum, Echo, and Paris into going to earth with me. I begged them to go, knowing full well they are your messengers and my home on earth is in Zelus’s realm. I’m the one to blame for his anger, and for the war.”

  Even though I can’t see the messengers because they’re behind me, I feel them react to my words.

  The connection we share through the pieces of my soul allows me to sense the tension and despair they felt kneeling at Kaius’s mercy. But now, I sense something else. A wave of something I don’t quite understand. I can’t interpret it, but it hits me right in the chest, forcing the air from my lungs.

  Absolute silence hangs in the room for several long heartbeats. Despite their reaction to my declaration, none of the three men at my feet move or speak. I hardly hear them breathing. At the back of the room, even the guards have gone quiet. I can’t tell what’s coming, but the atmosphere weighs heavy and oppressive.

  Every man in this room is waiting for their god’s next move.

  I don’t dare move. I don’t even blink. My arms are still held wide, thrown out as if I could shield the men behind me.

  Kaius stares at me for a long time, his face unreadable. I start to think we’ll stand here forever in this strange face-off, a frozen display in commemoration of the moment a soul dared to go up against a god.

  A warning to other souls never to be so foolhardy.

  But then, finally, Kaius nods. “If this is your fault, so be it.”

  I let my burning arms fall to my sides, all the breath rushing from my lungs as relief flows through me like cool water. “It is.”

  He nods again, his eyes darkening. “Then you shall take the punishment.”

  7

  Horror turns my legs to stone as I absorb Kaius’s decree.

  What is my punishment?

  I want to scream the question. Fear pounds inside me with every beat of my heart. Will he extinguish me like he threatened to do the day I arrived?

  The thought sends a fresh torrent of ice rushing through my veins. Not even death—it can’t be that because I’ve already died—but utter annihilation. He would snuff me out of existence like a candle flame, and he would do it with that same empty expression on his face that he has now.

  From behind me, a strong wave of emotion washes over me from the men, so strong it almost brings me to my knees. It’s a mix of several emotions, but it’s so convoluted and overwhelming that I can’t identify anything but the strength of the feelings.

  I need them to do something. To say something. I finally glance over my shoulder, pleading with them silently to stand up against Kaius with me. To join me. To help me.

  But all three men remain on their knees, their faces blank and stoic, and their gazes set firmly ahead.

  “Messengers!” Kaius snaps the word so loudly and sharply it makes me jump. “Do you object?”

  All three of their voices raise in unison. “We follow you in all things, great god. We were made to serve you, and serve you, we must.”

  I’ve seen them function as a single entity before in their dealings with Kaius, but this time seems eerie and unnatural. There’s no emotion behind the words, no shifting in their bodies. Even their faces barely move as they condemn me to death.

  My heart cracks. I lift a hand to my breast as I turn and gaze down at them, trying to contain the sharp ache in my chest. My legs finally give out entirely, and I sink to my knees, unable to stop the sting of tears in my eyes.

  I rushed in here to save them. I was willing to die to protect them. I knew death—final death—was a possibility when I came into this room, but like a fool, I didn’t actually believe it would happen. I thought my messengers would…

  I’m an idiot, I thi
nk, my gaze blurring with tears.

  I thought my messengers would protect me just as I tried to protect them, but of course, they’re bound to follow every order from their god.

  It is who they are.

  What they were made for.

  Just as I have no choice over whether to allow the soul connection to exist between us, they have no choice in this. If Kaius condemns me to be extinguished, they will obey and go along with his orders.

  And what good luck for them, to be rid of the little wandering soul. The soul who’s brought them nothing but trouble.

  My stomach twists painfully at the thought, and I can’t bring myself to look up. To meet their gazes.

  “Take her to the dungeon,” Kaius orders, stepping up beside me and motioning for all three men to stand. “She’ll be extinguished tomorrow in the city square. I’ll make an example of her. My people will know the cost of disobedience.”

  Tears pool in my eyes, but I refuse for them to fall. I’m still on my knees when Callum appears over me. His fingers are bruising as he grips my arm and yanks me to my feet. I cry out, not just from the pain of his grasp but startled by the callous way he’s jerked me up. Then Echo is at my other side, his hand also tight and painful on my bicep. I feel a third hand on my neck from behind—Paris’s long, elegant fingers encircle my neck, digging into my flesh.

  Then they’re pushing me, guiding me roughly toward the door of the throne room.

  I’m too shocked to fight against them. Even if I did, would it matter? They’re much bigger and stronger than me, and we’re surrounded by guards who would leap into action to help the messengers if I so much as flinch. Kaius could snap his fingers and extinguish me right this moment, and then the only thing my struggles would have accomplished would be to end my existence faster.

  We exit the throne room, and the palace guards who chased me straight to Kaius fall into step behind us.

  My three messengers are so close that I can feel warmth radiating from their bodies. Bodies I touched with fevered desire only days ago, lips I’ve kissed. I’ve finally admitted to myself that I might be falling for them, only for them to turn around and condemn me to death.