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  Worry prickled up and down my spine, growing more and more uncomfortable with each passing minute. I was just about to march downstairs and burst into the room when footsteps sounded. A few seconds later, Carl appeared, a small smile on his face. His slicked-back hair was a little disheveled, a few pieces hanging down over his eyes, and spots of blood glistened on his knuckles. He wiped them away before returning to Molly and wrapping his arms around her, burying his nose in her hair.

  “Ready to go home, baby?”

  “You… get what you needed?” Noah asked carefully, glancing back at the basement stairs.

  “Oh, yeah.” Carl looked up, noticing all of us staring at him. He shrugged. “Based on what I gleaned from that laptop I hacked, Strand’s been doing fucked up shit for years, beyond just the shifter project. I wanted to have a little heart-to-heart with the company’s CEO.”

  Noah nodded, though he still looked a little doubtful.

  Rhys and West headed down to the basement, returning a few moments later with Doctor Shepherd suspended between them. West held him under the shoulders while Rhys had a firm grip on his ankles. The doctor’s head lolled to one side, and a small cut near his bruised eye had re-opened. He was out cold again.

  I shot a glance in Carl’s direction, trying to quell the little whisper of distrust that flitted through my brain. He’d obviously done more than just talk to the man. But what had he wanted?

  And had he gotten it?

  Chapter Nineteen

  Rhys and West laid the prone body on the bench seat again, and everyone crowded into the van. Jackson had reclaimed shotgun as soon as the last person walked out of the house, so he took the front passenger seat.

  No one discussed Carl’s impromptu chat with Doctor Shepherd, and by the time we dropped the couple off at their house, I had convinced myself there was nothing to worry about. If our friend wanted to betray us, he could’ve done it dozens of times already. I did trust him; plus, I trusted Molly and her judgement.

  Most likely, Carl had just wanted to get in a few solid hits before he lost his chance. His definition of right and wrong might differ a little from most people’s, but he was a good person in all the ways that mattered. It stood to reason that Strand’s mistreatment of people, their many abuses and lies over the years, would piss off a guy like Carl.

  It took about twenty minutes to swap out the gear we’d used at the safe house for the equipment we would need for our attack on the source’s location. The two beat-up backpacks came with us too, along with a third bag filled entirely with weapons.

  Doctor Shepherd began to rouse as we sat him up and adjusted his binds, making sure he was strapped securely to the seat. A stony-faced Rhys gagged him with a thin piece of cloth he’d gotten from Molly.

  The drive would take nearly twelve hours, but instead of going straight through, we’d stop and rest for the night. I hated to lose a minute of time, but all of us were running on fumes. We needed to go into the fight at least somewhat rested.

  Doctor Shepherd stared stoically out the window, but Jackson slipped into his usual role of entertainer of the group as we drove, asking Rhys if we were there yet, coaxing Sariah into playing dumb car games, and cracking jokes. There was something off in his tone though, a slightly strained note that belied his upbeat exterior.

  I picked at a small hole in the seatback in front of me, channeling my nerves and frustration into the mindless activity.

  As the sun began to set, Rhys pulled off the interstate, heading down a smaller road into a wooded area. We’d decided against staying in a hotel. After the Strand hunters’ attack on the Lost Pack in Meridian, it seemed too risky. And it would be hard to check into a hotel with a man who was obviously being held against his will. Even if we somehow managed to smuggle him in without drawing attention, being around other people would give him too many opportunities to call for help or escape. And since all of us but Doctor Shepherd could shift, spending a night outdoors under the stars was no hardship.

  We left the van by the side of the road before venturing a little deeper into the woods. Not trusting him enough to let him walk on his own, West and Rhys carried our prisoner and bound him to a tree trunk as the rest of us set up our makeshift camp. Molly had stocked us with plenty of food—I hoped she and Carl had kids one day, because she’d be an amazing mom—and we tore into it greedily.

  As I finished up my second sandwich, I glanced over at Doctor Shepherd. He was still gagged, quiet but conscious, watching us in the dim twilight with a hard, observant gaze. His right eye was a little better, no longer swollen all the way shut.

  I sucked in a deep breath before grabbing a sandwich and a bottle of water. He tracked my movement as I walked toward him, and I could feel the tension in his body as I tugged the gag out of his mouth. He stretched his face—which had to hurt like hell—as I crouched beside him, poised to slip the gag back on if he decided to start screaming.

  Not that it would make much difference. Rhys had deliberately picked a spot so out of the way no one would hear him even if he did call for help.

  Doctor Shepherd was no dummy. He didn’t waste his breath.

  When I unscrewed the cap of the water bottle and lifted it toward his lips, he jerked away slightly, his brows drawing together in suspicion.

  “Why?”

  His usually smooth voice was raspy and hoarse.

  I sighed. I didn’t want to have a whole fucking heart-to-heart with him, just make sure he got some food and water.

  “Because unlike you, I believe a person’s life has some basic value, whether I hate them or not.”

  His lip curled. “Because you think I’ll be useful, more likely. That I’ll help you break in and destroy my gods’ precious gift. Don’t fucking count on it, Alexis.”

  I jiggled the water bottle near his face. My mates’ gazes burned into my back with varying levels of respect, worry, and disapproval, but none of them moved to intervene.

  Doctor Shepherd sneered, but I didn’t miss the way his tongue ran over his cracked lips. When I put the water bottle to his mouth and tilted it, he drank eagerly. Then I fed him a sandwich, keeping my eyes focused anywhere but him as he ate.

  Jesus. Did I used to think my check-ups were awkward? Trying to decide where to look? That was nothing compared to this.

  When the middle-aged man had finished the last bite, I sat back, wiping off my hands on my pants. His color had improved, and his eyes looked a little less glassy as he stared at me with an inscrutable expression on his face—as if, of all the things his little test subject had ever done, this was the one that surprised him the most.

  Does he not recognize basic human kindness? Or is he just surprised that someone he turned into a half-animal still possesses it?

  The sun had dropped beyond the horizon, and within a few minutes, darkness began to fall in earnest. Jackson stood up, stretching his arms over his head and revealing a sliver of toned, tan stomach as his shirt lifted up.

  “I’m gonna go check the woods, just to be sure. Who wants to come with me? Sariah? Noah?”

  My blond-haired mate moved to stand, but before he could, I blurted, “I’ll go!”

  Both men turned to me, and I looked at Jackson. “I mean, if that’s okay. Do you mind?”

  He shrugged, kicking at a few rocks awkwardly. “Um, yeah, sure. That’s cool.”

  When he held out his hand for me, I took it, clinging to the contact like it was a lifeline. We walked a little ways from the makeshift camp before we stripped and shifted. I heard three distinct growls of anger as my other three mates made sure Doctor Shepherd looked elsewhere, although there wasn’t much to see in the darkness.

  I followed Jackson’s wolf deeper into the woods, sniffing and snuffling the ground. He was the best tracker of all of us; I was just tagging along because it was safer to move about in pairs… and I had wanted another moment alone with him.

  But even though things felt better, easier, between us in this form, we couldn’t do the one
thing we needed to. Talk.

  I lasted about ten minutes before the tension in my chest got the best of me and I shifted back to human form, rising onto two feet mid-stride.

  “Jackson?”

  The large white wolf stopped, swinging his head back to look at me. The woods were dark, but his rich amber eyes almost seemed lit from within.

  “I’m sorry.” I swallowed, stepping forward to brush my fingers through his fur. “I’m really, really sorry. I should’ve told you, all of you, as soon as I knew. There were a million reasons why I didn’t, but none of them are good enough to justify keeping something like this from my mates.”

  He whuffed softly, turning around to face me without shifting back. His eyes were open and curious, and I realized maybe he needed to be in wolf form to hear this—to listen without judgement or anger.

  If he was going to give me a chance to explain, I wasn’t going to waste it. I knelt in front of him, ignoring the way twigs and rocks dug into my knees as I brought us face-to-face.

  “I was afraid… if you found out, you’d try to keep me out of this fight. And I need to be part of it. For the pack I lead. For the life I could’ve had. For the life I want. There are some things more important than staying safe, staying protected, and this is one of them.”

  The white wolf stepped closer, licking the side of my face, and I dipped my head, smiling softly. Then I bit my lip, steeling my heart for my next words.

  “I was scared, and I was… sad. I’m still sad, and I don’t know how to make that feeling go away. I wanted to make my peace with it before I told you guys, but I should’ve let you in so we could all deal with it together.”

  His large ears flattened, and he drew back. A second later, his skin and fur rippled as he shifted, leaving Jackson crouching in front of me, his pose mirroring my own.

  “Sad?” The word seemed to pain him. “I don’t understand. Why were you sad, Alexis? Do you… do you not want this baby?”

  “No!” I grabbed his hand, shaking my head emphatically. “God, no. I love him—or her—so much already. But I think about the future, and it’s…” I took a deep breath, tears swimming in my eyes as I started over. “I believe in what we’re doing with my whole heart, Jackson. This is the best path forward. If the Source is allowed to exist, it won’t matter if we take down Doctor Shepherd or Strand. Someone else will find that power and continue their experiments. We need to destroy it. We need to end this.”

  “We do.”

  He nodded, cupping the side of my face with his large hand and brushing my cheek with his thumb. Pale moonlight played over his features, making him look dangerous and beautiful.

  “But don’t you see what that means?” The tears fell harder now, and I gripped his forearm. “If I’m the only shifter who’s ever been able to get pregnant, there won’t be a next generation of our kind. The Elders will die eventually… and one day, we will too, and there will be no one left but this child. None of our kind. They’ll be the last shifter ever to exist.” A hiccuping sob fell from my lips. “Doesn’t that sound like a lonely life? A terrible life?”

  “Oh, fuck, Alexis.” Understanding dawned on Jackson’s shadowy face, and he sat back on his heels, pulling me into his lap and wrapping his arms around me as I cried. “I didn’t even think of that. I was just so damn excited about the idea of a baby coming out of you, of us all being a real family… and then so hurt that you hadn’t trusted us with the truth. I never thought beyond that. Fucking Christ.”

  He kissed my hair over and over, pressing my head to his chest.

  “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you,” I whispered.

  “No. Shit, it makes perfect sense now. Don’t even worry about it.”

  I heard a new pain in his voice, and I hated that my confession hadn’t healed the hurt—just changed its source. But when he spoke again, I could hear the optimism that was so very Jackson underlying his words.

  “Alexis? Maybe it makes me a bad person, but I’m still excited you’re having a baby. And even if she is the last shifter ever born, I promise you, we will love the fuck out of that kid. We’ll do everything we can to make life beautiful and amazing for her as long as we’re around to do it. And as long as I’m alive, she’ll never doubt for a single second of a single day that she is loved.”

  My arms wrapped around his muscled back as his words pierced my heart like a lance, draining the poisonous fear away and leaving a clean wound.

  It still hurt, so fucking bad, but it wasn’t festering anymore.

  I dragged in a shuddering breath and let it out slowly. “Her, huh?”

  A chuckle vibrated against my ear. Then Jackson tipped my chin up with two fingers, meeting my gaze as he shrugged. “I just have a feeling.”

  Chapter Twenty

  The look on Jackson’s face nearly undid me.

  Tenderness, love, and hope mixed with a fierce protectiveness, and I knew without question that—daughter or son—he would love our child as much as he loved me. My baby would grow up with four fathers who adored the hell out of her, who would move heaven and earth for her.

  Even if the future seemed bleak, how could it be wrong to bring a child into a life like that?

  My gut still churned when I thought about my baby being alone one day, the sole survivor of Strand’s mad experiments, but I let the bright light of Jackson’s love push my fears into dark corners where they belonged.

  Shifting on his lap, I reached a hand up to hook around his neck, running my fingers through the thick hair at the back of his head as I pulled his face down to meet mine. He obliged willingly, claiming my lips in a kiss that was hot and wet, needy and comforting.

  My face was soaked with tears, and he wiped them away as he deepened the kiss, stroking his tongue against mine in a dance that made my body sing.

  His large hands moved down to my hips, and he lifted me easily, turning me in his arms as if I weighed nothing at all. I rested my arms on his shoulders, straddling his lean waist as the rough ground dug into my knees again. But the change in position brought his stiffening cock right into contact with my core, and the slight discomfort in my knees was the last thing on my mind.

  I moved against him, my mouth latching onto his once again, pulling his lower lip between my teeth in a soft bite before I licked the sting away. He groaned, holding me close with a steely, muscled arm around my waist while his other large hand skimmed the curves of my body.

  “Fuck, Alexis. I love you so much I don’t know what to do sometimes.”

  “You’re doing pretty well right now,” I gasped out as he rolled a nipple between two fingers, sending shocks of electricity zipping through my body.

  “Yeah? Well, there’s plenty more where that came from.”

  He chuckled against my flesh, roaming the skin of my neck and shoulders with his hot mouth as he switched his attention to the other nipple before squeezing and massaging my entire breast. I wasn’t sure if it was pregnancy hormones or what—maybe they were good for more than just making me want to barf all the time—but I was on the verge of coming already from just his attention to my breasts.

  “Yes... Oh, God…”

  My words were throaty and breathless, and his gaze shot up to meet mine, a satisfied heat burning in their amber depths. He cocked his head, watching every reaction as he flicked my nipple lightly back and forth, noting my hitched breaths and muffled sounds, the tension rising in my body.

  Then, with no warning, he dropped his head down, sucking my breast into his warm mouth with hard, deep pulls. His tongue lashed over the stiff peak in hard strokes, and my jaw dropped open, my head tilting back as I let out a loud cry. Still holding me upright with one arm, he pinched my other nipple hard—skirting that fine line between pleasure and pain—and stars exploded inside me.

  My body shuddered as an orgasm unlike any I’d ever felt worked its way through me, making me tingle all the way to the tips of my fingers and toes.

  Jackson hadn’t been inside me.

&n
bsp; He hadn’t even been touching my clit.

  Just his mouth and his hands on my breasts had pushed me over the edge, sending me hurtling into oblivion so fast I couldn’t even catch my breath.

  I blinked at him, my legs squeezing tighter around his waist as he flicked my nipple playfully with the tip of his tongue before drawing back.

  “Holy shit,” he murmured, his eyes blazing. “That was so fucking hot.”

  “That’s—that’s never happened before,” I gasped, half-tempted to shove his mouth back to my breast and get an instant replay.

  My entire body was buzzing, not sated at all by the intense orgasm, and my nipples were so stiff it almost hurt. Again, that pleasure/pain sensation landed on the side of pleasure, and I shivered with desire.

  “Well, it’s definitely not gonna be the last time it does.” His voice was thick, and I could feel his hard cock sandwiched between us. As if to prove his point, he circled my nipple with his tongue once more, making me jump. “Damn. You’re so fucking responsive, Alexis. I love it.”

  I bit my lip, grinning at him like an idiot. Sex with Jackson was the most amazing mix of delicious heat and goofy fun. His easy-going personality put me so at ease that I’d probably try anything with him. I trusted him completely, because I knew without a doubt he would always take care of me.

  Sliding a hand over my thigh and down past my knee, he encouraged me to wrap my legs around his waist. His arm and back muscles contracted as he stood up, bringing me with him. I clung to him tightly, pressing the full length of my torso against his as I kissed him hard.

  The first orgasm had only left my body craving more. More of this man. More of the feelings he gave me.

  I worked myself shamelessly against his body, wrapped around him like some kind of horny koala, rubbing my clit against his hard abs just to relieve some of the ache building inside me.

  “Fuck.” He tore his lips from mine, breathing hard as he glanced at the woods around us. “This is why in my fantasies we have a goddamn house. Where’s a stupid bed when you need one?”